REDHANDED
by CARROTTY.flavor
Summary: READERS: AGE ABOVE 18 - 1896, 59OC, 80OC, 27KYO, RYOHANA Where DHL comes of stripping honey bunnies and the aftermath effects of BACHELOR PARTY. ;


**.Redhanded.**

_Never caught dead watching porn or dreaming wet, seriously._

C'mon, girls. You know that boys started to have those dreams around sixteen? Where they dream of people like Angeline Jolie or Scarlet Johnson in tiny little red bikini sets next to their private pools behind their houses. You do know right? Okay, maybe some boys don't aim high, lets say, your school's prom queen? Yeah, that's more likely. Pamela, Brittany... Whoever! Whatever! It is just that their dreams involve of them, sexy ladies, stripping. Oh yeah, that's what I am talking about. Totally.

You may not be seeing what is this gotta do with the boys, really. Nope, you may not see. _Until_, I explain it to you.

Well, it started out to be Sawada Tsunayoshi's Bachelor party. Finally, somebody got the guts to confess to Kyoko that he loves her for **don'tknowhowmanymotherfucking** years! Thank God for his tiny brains and cute smile that he finally got the prettiest girl in his middle school, college and university. I don't know how he managed it. But, I am willing to bet the Mukuro helped a lot, as Chrome. Now, you see, in a Bachelor Party, what can happen? A lot. _Especially, you invited Rokudo Mukuro. _

Yes, the evil smirking Rokudo Mukuro who slain girls' heart and left them swooning, wanting more at his booted feet.

Get me?

Good. Stay with me. 'cause things is gonna get a little bit **messy** from now onwards.

---

20:00pm, Vongola Base. Foyer of West Wing.

"Are all the things here?"

"Yes, sir. Definitely. You may want to sign here, sir." Papers shuffled constantly on the clipboard. Someone clicked the pen.

"I need to check the property first. No dangers? No troubles? I mean, with the police and everything." Buyer was using the pen to tap on the clipboard. Rhythm matches his tapping booted feet.

"Definitely no problem, sir. Don't worry. I am a pro."

"I trust you then." Buyer signed.

-

20:10pm, Vongola Base. Storey 6 of West Wing.

Tsuna swallowed his ever-present saliva with a loud gulp. His senior by 2 year looked up from his laptop with an eyebrow raised. Next to him, his good friend grinned and scratched his head. Tsuna took a peek from the corner of his eyes, he looked at the platinum blond hair right-hand man who looked back at him with his turquoise eyes, curious. He raised his head and receive a smile from his future brother-in-law.

Not far future.

He took another gulp of saliva.

"W-what a-are w-w-we go-going to-o wa-watch?" He stumbled out.

Hibari looked disgusted. Yamamoto looked around the whole room, missing him on purpose. Gokudera blushed bright red. Ryohei just coughed in to his fist. Very fake. Tsuna's sweat began to roll down like snow balls from an avalanche. His large golden-brown eyes blinking in full innocent, nervousness, curiosity and confusion. Today is his Bachelor Party and he (or rather Mukuro) invited all of them, saying something like an education for the Innocents (hinting: apart from Mist, the rest are still babies). Even, Reborn said that it is good for all of them (Ha! Babies! Riiiighht.)

"Ca-can s-s-someone t-tell - "

"Porn," Yamamoto choked on his drink. "Alcohol," Ryohei blanched. "Strippers in the form of kittens or bunnies," Gokudera's head banged against the metallic table. "Huge creamed-cake concealing bikini-clad Playboy bunny," Tsuna's jaw collided with the wooden parquet flooring underneath. "and, ..." Hibari's smirk became very very evident as he didn't look up from his glowing monitor.

"... BDSM." Mukuro opened the door with his famous all-knowing smile.

Hibari glared at him instantly. Mukuro smiled even more.

"My Mafia Boss, we are going to get a lifetime of lesson from _these_!" With a flourish, DHL personnel streamed in with large boxes, small containers and ribbons. Hell lots of them. "Don't worry, we got all night and early morning to finish all these up!" He pulled out several bundles of DVDs from his coat and threw them in the table's direction.

" '_LICK, SUCK, FUCK.'_ ?" Hibari read out from one of the DVDs. Suddenly, he felt as if he had been struck by a metal baton from the back of his head. "Rokudo!"

"Education! Education!" Mukuro smiled. "C'mon, sit around, we'll go through all those! –gestured at the bunch of tapes on the table- when Tsuna, our darling boss goes through all these." He waved at the giggling and squealing boxes.

---

Is it me or my Singapore air is getting hotter? Hm. Good question. So, now you see, the boys are going have a lot of _fun_. Under the skirts, creams and ribbons. Right, readers? Well, boys are boys. If they are not pervert, they ain't boys. You see, there's a lot of psychological problems involve. Scientists said that if you watched or did something memorable or shocking or unforgettable before you sleep, you will be dreaming of it through the whole night. It is true. I mean, I tried that before. Before sleeping, I watched horror movie, and spent my whole night in bed. Getting chase around by zombies and vampire junkies.

Enough about me!

Now, you know of the boys are up to porn. Before they sleep.

Well, my dear boys, **sweet dreams tonight**.

---

05:42am, Vongola Base. Storey 7 of North Wing.

It is not good being Storm. Not good. Fiery temper, raging sense of responsibility and atrocious attitude problems. Not good. Not to mention, he got his hands full of mafia shit right now. Oh dear, is that corridor swaying? Shit, his eyesight sucks after the 3 kegs of beer. Dammit, what time is it now? He forced back another wave of nausea as he stumble to his room in this floor. Dammit, that asshole! 3 fucking kegs! Jesus.

Some one is going to pay if he pukes on the red carpeting! Some one, I don't know who, but someone!

"Storm! Oh my God, what happen to you?" A female voice sounded worried.

"Boss's party," he replied with a dismissal wave of his hand. "Why the hell are you doing awake so early in the morning, Janice?"

"Oh, nothing. Just walking around. You know, patrol is needed." She shrugged.

Gokudera looked at his secretary. Pale with large green eyes. Not very pretty, but the lack of beauty was heavily or sufficiently replace by her intelligence. This early morning, she looked nice. More than nice. Very, welcoming. Is she blushing? There's some redness around her cheeks area. Cute. All her flaming red hair was pulled back by her working band. Makes him wonder how would it look being let down and combed through by his fingers. White button-down blouse. Office wear. Pencil skirt, above knee. Hm, nice ankles. Slim legs, long.

"Jan,"

"Hm? Yes, sir?"

"Come closer."

"Okay." She took a step forward, with her innocent eyes staring at him. "Yes, sir?"

Gokudera thought that he must be crazy, mad or totally unsuitable to be Tsuna's right-hand man at all when he had his own secretary pinned against the ivory wall. Right now, he looked at her collarbone. This is the first time he felt collarbone can be sexy too. He always thought it is the legs and the ridiculously large boobs that made him stare and get a hard-on. Nope, now he is staring at Jan's collarbone and thinking of licking and sucking the tender flesh around the bone. Damn, he is getting a boner just looking at it.

"Do you know that old legend says that women with green eyes and red flaming hair like yours are witches?" He breathed close to her ears. Using his teeth, he slowly nibble the back of her ears. He heard her breathing hitched as she pressed herself against him, willing. "Hm, tell me, Janice McCarthy, tell me." His tongue came out for a lick, long and slow drag down her neck. He stopped at the pulsing nub at the end of her throat.

She felt his smirk at her nervousness. "No, sir." She nearly purr when he sucked on the pulsing nub, as if that is his drug. "Sir!" She yelped when she felt one of his hand trailing down her thighs and back up again, just to smooth that devious hand over her bottom.

"Bring me to the bedroom. Now." He saw the uncertainty in her eyes. He smirked. "This is an order, Janice. Don't want to get fired, do you?" He used his body to pressed her closer to the wall. She moaned.

"Get moving then, Jan. There's so much more we must discuss about this fiasco." He gestured down the corridor. " In. My. Room."

"Yes, sir."

"Good."

-

05:43am, Vongola Base. Storey 9 of South Wing.

Tranquility. Har fucking Har. He can't even put out the raging burning sensation within him. If his squad is suppose to put a thermometer behind his tongue, the thermometer will just bust and caught fire! He looked at his Longines watch. Good, no one will be walking around at this point of time. Or he hope so. The patrol team should be done with his block, if he is not wrong. He looked around and heaved a sigh of relief.

No one. None at all.

He strode quickly to his kitchen and nearly wrenched the whole fridge's door open for his cold water bottle inside it. He gulped down the whole content like a dehydrated man. He thought no one in the sane mind would fuck a girl in a P.E. instrument room! He thought! Damn his innocent mind! And, damn Mukuro for showing him all those tapes! No wonder, he found silver square packages in the room when he was in high school and college. An image popped in his brain. Boy over girl. Pants off, skirt off. Moaning and groaning together. Sweating bodies joined together. Screaming climaxes.

His buddy behind his zipper gave him a jerk.

"Well, I'm glad that some body finds that thought welcoming." He groaned.

"Rain! Hey, the training room was torn down by your senior yesterday while you're at the party!" A woman bounced in to the room. "I am just done with my patrol in the building with Alex."

"Clarissa..." he gulped. "Hi."

"Well, hi yourself. You looked like hell, sir. No offense. But, seriously. What happen to you?" Clarissa helped him to close the fridge's door and sat on the kitchen table top. "Jesus, you looked vexed. And frustrated. Not your usual self, sir." She started to swing her long legs, large cornflower blue eyes stared at him, waiting for his answer.

_Take her. C'mon, Takeshi. Look at those long legs, man. A dead man would kill for such legs to be wrapped around the waist. Saw her pink lips? Geez, you got a cutie right in front of you, young gun. Just look at her. Long blond hair. Ever wonder how would it feel when you stroked through it? Silk? Satin? Velvet? Young man, you're depriving yourself of desert. Sweet little desert. No one will know. Only you and her. Ever thought of what she is hiding behind the office wear? Sexy lacy lingerie. Dude, you need to play more._

"Sir? Are you okay? Hello? Is Yamamoto Takeshi home!?" Clarissa snapped her fingers in front of his face, waking him around his reverie.

He looked at her. He swear it wasn't on purpose that he saw what she was wearing underneath. It was just that she leaned forward and he just could glimpsed what she was wearing behind the open-necked shirt. Red. Lacy. Red. Lacy. Red. Lacy. SHUT UP!

_Would below be matching?_ He found himself wondering. Shit!

"Sorry, Clary. I didn't catch your question. What did you ask?" His body moved closer to hers.

She rolled her eyes, didn't realize him closing in on her. _Rolled in pleasure. Aftermath of climax. _His buddy gave another jerk. Calm down, dude. Calm down. "I asked you whether you're fine and what happen in the party, sir." _Oh, I'm fine. Horny, but fine. Oh, we just watched unlimited amount of porn and played around with those bunnies and kitties. Not to mention, strippers. It was fine, Clary, just fine. And horny. _He nearly moaned.

She leaned forward again, bringing her face dangerously close to his. Lips inches from each other. Without further thoughts, he leaned forward. Grabbing his trainee's chin with his fingers, their lips collided with teeth scraping.

_You go, boy! Make her moan! Woo!_

-

05:56am, Vongola Base. Storey 7 of East Wing.

"_No... Not here, some one may see us!" Clothes falling. _

"_No, no one will see us, don't worry!" Smirk._

"_Richard, no! Please! It is Hyde park and it is also under broad daylight, Richie dear! Ah... AH!" _

"_Yes, just like that, Mandy. Just like that, Ah... You feel so good." Slid in, to the hilt._

"_Hmm... Ah..." Moaning, whimpering as 'Richard' thrusts._

"_So tight and wet, baby. Oh yes!" _

"_Ah!!" Mandy climaxed. _

"JESUS CHRIST!" Ryohei shot up from his bed. "Shit that Mukuro! That, argh!" His breath came in pants. It is like waking up from a really bad dream, but his was a different case totally. Wet dreams. Almost as bad, or should I say, almost as good. He was the first to run from the party that night. After 4 shows of porn, he could take it any longer. Everyone stayed apart from him. Maybe he is shy or whatever. He ran out of Tsuna's area immediately. Oh god.

He thought downing several bottles of cold water and had a cold shower could have work, damn he was wrong. Ryohei looked around this dark room. Making sure that no one caught him dreaming about this kind of awkward dreams, he plopped back to the bed. His hand strolled down slowly to pat his crotch. The hand came in contact with some thing wet and sticky. He cursed again and sat up. With his free hand, he switched on the bedside lamp.

He saw what he saw and nearly fainted. He had a jerk-off. Great. Now, how's is he going to explain to his housekeeper that his bedsheets is wet? Reaching out for the tissue box on the table, he sighed. He will kill the Mukuro even if wasn't this elusive. Damn that stupid bastard. _Dirty_, sneaky bastard! While he was cleaning himself up, he didn't hear the door knock.

The door opened and showed Hana, Kyoko's best friend.

She looked at him, cleaning himself.

He looked at her, cleaning himself.

She blinked, still staring at his buddy in his hand.

He blinked while he knew that he is having another erection again.

She raised an eyebrow.

He blushed, still moving his hand, cleaning himself.

"Do you need help, Sasagawa?"

"If you want to." He smiled.

She rolled her eyes and closed the door.

-

08:56am, Northern Italy. The Hibari's Residence. 

Hibari yawned and stretched out his body like a feline. He turned around on his side, just as he was about to snuggle in to his fluff pillow and continue to sleep, he saw a head of indigo hair. He sat up immediately. His bed covers slipped and showed off his six pecs and naked chest. Naked. He is definitely naked. He looked around his bedroom. His clothes were all over the place. His bed partner's clothes was also everywhere. He spotted a tiny piece of black cloth on his desk at the other corner.

_Her lingerie._

He turned and looked down at the owner of that sexy piece of nothing. She was still sleeping soundly, facing away from him. Indigo hair, slender arms, pale complexion and pink lips. Definitely her. Chrome Dokuro. He had sex with that Mist Guardian's pet. He slumped back down to his side of the bed with an arm over his eyes. How the hell did he wind up with her? He thought hard. Nothing came up. Nope. His brains still want to sleep. He looked at the woman next to him again. Her naked shoulder rising up slowly and down slowly as she breathe.

He reached out for her and turned her, stomach up. He pulled away the covers from her body. Love bites were everywhere. On her breasts, neck, stomach, thighs. Concluded, they had wild bunny-shag last night. He touched her satin-like skin slowly and smirked. Soft everywhere. He leaned and shifted his weight properly as he laid on her body. Using his elbow to hold his head up, his free hand roamed around her body freely.

Slowly, she moaned and opened her eyes slowly, blinking the sleep away. She gasped and her eyes shot opened, when he fingered her there. Right where she wanted. He smirked. She leaned towards his body and clung on to him like a kola bear. She began to moan and whimper against his throat as he increased his fingers and tempo.

"Kyouya..." She squirmed against him.

"Good morning, Chrome Dokuro."

He shoved two fingers in.

"Ah! Kyouya!" She arched her back.

He smirked.

-

10:21am, Vongola Base. Storey 7 of West Wing.

Tsuna woke up to a series of shaking. Some one was shaking his shoulders. He blinked up and stared at the culprit. His eyes shot wide opened when he registered who she was!

Sasagawa Kyoko, his fiancee!

And what the hell is she holding on to?

Tsuna looked carefully.

"Tsu-kun! Wake up! What is all this!?" Kyoko waved the black bundle under his nose.

'_LICK, SUCK, FUCK'. _

_**OH, FUCK.**_

He is cooked. And it is all Mukuro's fault.

---

Told you, readers, everything is going to get messy from now onwards. HARHAR!!

-grinned-


End file.
